Many students are very excited to learn to play an instrument like the piano, and when given the opportunity to develop their skills, they excel and find joy in music. But sometimes, students are put into a difficult position when the parent has unrealistic expectations of musical success, or an indifferent attitude of the small challenges their child has worked through on their instrument. In order for a child to truly succeed in their musical endeavors, parents must be fully involved in their child’s learning. Read below about what it takes to be a supportive and engaged music parent, even if you don’t know anything about music.
Encourage your child to learn, don’t force them. Parents are critical stakeholders in their child’s music education, but that doesn’t mean they should push their child’s limits. Children should be allowed to discover naturally, persevere through problems, feel curious, channel self-discipline in wanting to learn, be optimistic, and practice self-control. They need to believe they have what it takes to conquer learning to read music and play an instrument. It is the role of the parent to encourage the child that they have the skills to figure things out.
Celebrate the little victories in practice time. Practicing an instrument is difficult and can be overwhelming at times. By taking the time to celebrate small achievements, such as playing the G Major scale hands together with correct fingering, a child is more likely to continue believing they can learn how to play an instrument. Parents should actively listen to their child practicing to pinpoint these small victories. Shower your child with praise when they get it right!
Find yourself on the piano bench with your child. When a child is going through a particularly hard time, sit with them at the piano bench. Frustration is something to work through with someone they are comfortable with, rather than alone. Ask your child what part is hard, or which line is confusing, and do your best to work through it with them. Tell them to take the lead in showing you how it is supposed to be done. Make it a point to diffuse the difficult situation by getting them to “teach” you the piece of music.
Regularly ask your child about how music lessons are going. By taking a bit of time out of our day to just ask our children how music lessons are going, their brains begin activating and firing. Keep music theory books and/or flashcards in the car, to take advantage of spare moments in traffic when they may be bored. Have them describe the most fun part of learning, as well as the most challenging. By vocalizing these concerns, children are more likely to be open to communicating with their parents about their music education.
Always bring your child to lessons on time and prepared. Parents who regularly bring their children to lessons on time and with all their books and materials have an easier time actively engaging their children in music lessons. Children don’t have any control over this, so it is up to the parent to be responsible. Leading by example is critical to communicating the importance of being on time and prepared for your child, and shows them that you care enough about their music education to make the effort to get them there eager and ready.
Converse with the teacher about your child’s progress. Make it a point to sit in a lesson every now and then, and ask the teacher how your child is doing. If talking in person isn’t an option, give the teacher a phone call, or send a quick email. Most teachers would be happy to talk more in detail about a student’s progress, and it will start a conversation about areas where they may be struggling and excelling.
Find common ground in learning an instrument. If you are a parent that took music lessons as a child, share these experiences with your children. Both positive and negative experiences are beneficial to a child to hear, as they can relate with the challenges they are currently facing when learning their instrument. Talk openly about how you felt when learning how to jump from middle to high register on a flute or trumpet, and encourage your child to keep working to accomplish these small goals.
Sound Off: When did you find you were most influential in helping your child with music lessons? Did you have actively involved parents when you were learning an instrument?